One day at a time...
I was driving to work today and I got bored listening to my cd's and/or the radio so I put in the Il Postino cd. With the emotions I'm going through right now, I almost started tearing up when I heard Pablo Neruda's Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines...
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her
Sometimes, it makes me question what LOVE really does to people.
If love is meant to be good for us, then why does it hurt us more than anything else?
Cousin J sent out a "question" to all her teeny-bopper friends which struck a cord (especially with what's going on the past days...) ... "Would you rather be with someone who loves you, or someone you love?"But then - if you are with someone, isn't it because you have mutual love for each other?
Maybe not necessarily...
Hubs and I have mutual love, respect and understanding for each other. That I know for sure. The kind of love we both know goes deeper beyond wordly things. Do we even question why or how much we love each other? For us, there is no need. He knows - I know... and for us, that's all that matters.
I've certainly been in the type of relationship in my youth (HA!) where it started as a mutual love, and turned out to be one-sided in the end. As Rupert Everett said on My Best Friend's Wedding... "You are chasing after him, but who is chasing after you?". That one line - certainly holds truth. I fought for something I thought, at that time, was worth fighting for. But the longer I held on, the more I realized "why am I fighting for this with all that I have when I don't feel him doing the same?" Then reality hits and I moved on...
It's easier said than done? Of course it is. Is it going to take a while. Most definitely. The circumstances are also different. My experience wasn't permanent. It was a false definition of what love is. HER experience holds more gravity. It 'was' permanent. There are A LOT more at stake. But then again, as alike as we are, we are two different people. She can forgive easily. It takes me a while. She has much more to think of than herself. I can be selfish at times and think only of myself.
What's going on hurts me more than anything ... because I know how she feels.
The hardest thing to accept is the fact that the person you love is the one who is the most capable of hurting you the most.
At the end of the day, I am thankful Hubs is by my side ... safely ... lovingly.
iloveyou Hubs.
I was driving to work today and I got bored listening to my cd's and/or the radio so I put in the Il Postino cd. With the emotions I'm going through right now, I almost started tearing up when I heard Pablo Neruda's Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines...
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her
Sometimes, it makes me question what LOVE really does to people.
If love is meant to be good for us, then why does it hurt us more than anything else?
Cousin J sent out a "question" to all her teeny-bopper friends which struck a cord (especially with what's going on the past days...) ... "Would you rather be with someone who loves you, or someone you love?"But then - if you are with someone, isn't it because you have mutual love for each other?
Maybe not necessarily...
Hubs and I have mutual love, respect and understanding for each other. That I know for sure. The kind of love we both know goes deeper beyond wordly things. Do we even question why or how much we love each other? For us, there is no need. He knows - I know... and for us, that's all that matters.
I've certainly been in the type of relationship in my youth (HA!) where it started as a mutual love, and turned out to be one-sided in the end. As Rupert Everett said on My Best Friend's Wedding... "You are chasing after him, but who is chasing after you?". That one line - certainly holds truth. I fought for something I thought, at that time, was worth fighting for. But the longer I held on, the more I realized "why am I fighting for this with all that I have when I don't feel him doing the same?" Then reality hits and I moved on...
It's easier said than done? Of course it is. Is it going to take a while. Most definitely. The circumstances are also different. My experience wasn't permanent. It was a false definition of what love is. HER experience holds more gravity. It 'was' permanent. There are A LOT more at stake. But then again, as alike as we are, we are two different people. She can forgive easily. It takes me a while. She has much more to think of than herself. I can be selfish at times and think only of myself.
What's going on hurts me more than anything ... because I know how she feels.
The hardest thing to accept is the fact that the person you love is the one who is the most capable of hurting you the most.
At the end of the day, I am thankful Hubs is by my side ... safely ... lovingly.
iloveyou Hubs.
