Christmas has come and gone and I finally have time to sit and blog again..

Sorry - first things first... HAPPY HOLIDAYS everyone!!!

It's the day after Christmas and I'm at work. And it sucks! There is no one here. I came in with just 10 emails, nothing urgent. I really don't see the point why people have to come in to work on the day after Christmas. But hey, I'm saving my days for my vacation next week. I realized I have one more PTO I need to use up before the end of the year or else I'll lose it. I think I will just take it on the 31st, so I can have the whole day to clean the house and get ready for the next day's Big Trip.

Christmas was fun as usual, in spite of the days prior. Things have their way of making sure it all works out I suppose. Only Hubs and the family will understand this bit of ranting... but as Hubs says, it's all good!

Jakey Wakey was SO overwhelmed with his gifts. Poor thing was still not feeling up to it on Christmas Eve but I think he sensed all the excitement (especially from Ate Inna & Ate Bel) that he held on until way past midnight. The Fernandez (our usual Christmas Eve guests) came over for dinner. It was just the 2 families this year but it was fun! The kids were all ready with their cups after dinner.. all eager to sing for the grown-ups so they can go around the room collecting money. I think it's the cutest thing. It's a tradition we used to do back in the days during Christmas Day get-together at Lolo & Lola C's house. We all had to come prepared with a song or dance number and after all the kids (and adults) are done performing, we get in line and Lolo & Lola C will then pass out money! Simple times.. but lots of fun and memories. Now, it's a tradition Mom & Dad Dy hope to continue with us, and us with our children. Next year, Jakey will join in. This year, all he did was clap his hands while being held by Mama, and Daddy went around the room collecting money! Haha! That will fatten up his piggy bank for sure!

Jake got the bulk of all gifts. It's always Jake and Mom that make out every year! This year, instead of getting gifts for each other, since everyone is going on a trip and either buying a house or whatever... money is a bit tight so we decided to just do Secret Santa. Candy thought she had the formula of who got who down to a T... but she was wrong after the first one. Noy picked my name, and he got me my camera! Yipee!!! I picked Candy and I got her the bakeset and the Tupperware set she wanted. I know she wanted the Friends Season 3 DVD, but I thought she'd like to open 2 gifts instead of one.. hmm.. maybe I should've gotten the dvd instead. Nelson got Dad and got the jacket and XMen DVD he wanted. It was fun.. simple but fun! We also did White Elephant. Mom and Dad were shady :) - they forgot all about it so they put lai-cee instead. Candy and Gerrick went for the lai-cee :). There were really no gift exchanging, except for Nelson and Gerrick. I think every one was too happy with what they got.

Then it was the kids' turn....

Bel was extra happy with the gifts she got. One quick glance and you would think it was a 5year old boy opening the gifts... but it was Bel! She got everything a little boy wanted: Hulk, Spiderman, Ninja Turtle, Rescue Heroes, and anything slimmy and gross. She was disappointed though because she didn't get the frog .. little does she know! When she opened 2 boxes of Barbies, she said "not another Barbie!" You have to understand, she's a little boy trapped in a girl's body :). But we love her dearly! Inna, on the other hand, was as girlie as a girl can be! She got everything Lizzie. As in Lizzie Mcguire! And she got her most wanted monogrammed bag. Hubs and I got her the microphone stand with amplifier so when she performs her song and dance routine, she has a mic to go along with the whole show!

Jake was overwhelmed with all the presents! Hubs and I got him the Bear chair from babystyle (which came just in time. Thanks Santa!) and books and other little goodies. He got toys, and toys, and toys from Grandma & Grandpa D, Grandpa and Nana E, Nanis and Nanus... oh my he was in a good mood!!! He was clearly tired.. but he held on for the longest time! He seemed to have taken a liking to the noisy toys Nanu gave him. He was loving the drum and the piano... as Candy said, Noy must've some anger against us for getting Jake the noisy toys :). All in all, it was a great Christmas!

How can I forget the 'eye candy' Hubs got me! Thanks Hubs!!! We call it my JLo ring... and I love it, love it, love it! I got him the Originals Superstar he's been wanting and his digital voice recorder for when he gets ideas for his writing. I think he liked what I got him. He also got me a gray sweatshirt from The Gap. Happy happy... simple simple!!!

So, since Jake has been sick (and that's another LONG story), we decided not to go up to AC to spend Christmas Eve with the IL's. MIL and FIL came down on the 23rd to visit Jake and they also suggested we just stay put so we don't have to take Jake out in the cold. Hubs went to see them yesterday to spend some Christmas Day time with the IL's while Jake and I stayed at M&D's. We've been sleeping at M&D's since Tuesday so we don't have to take Jake out. The doctor said from now until we leave for the trip, we have to stay home so Jake can recover and rest for the long overseas trip.

Maybe tonight we'll go home. We need to do TONS of things: do laundry, pack.. and clean the house before we leave.

So on my 28th birthday, we will be air-borne to visit the favorite relatives, The G's. I can't wait!!! Tita Ninang G booked us a room at the Shangri-La for the much awaited and much longed for R&R for me, Hubs and Jake! I'm sure the 3J's will crash in the room with us, but it's all good.. we love those kids! But as I near the end of my 20's... I start to realize...
"Being Twenty-Something, they call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or ma ybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out."

Anyways... it might be a while before I blog again. But who knows.. it might be next week :)... but for now.. this is me.. Jakey's Mama.. Hubs' wifey.. wishing you all a Happy New Year ahead. Take care of each other!!!

:)

Talk about reality check...

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been if I didn't choose the path I took that lead me to where I am now? Would I be any happier? Woud it be as miserable? What if I waited and not have jumped too fast, too soon? Would my life be any different or would I be destined to have the same kind of life, no matter what?

I have so many questions right now. 1000 and 1 things are running inside my head that I am not even sure where I am, how I feel, where I'll go. I feel so many emotions - disappointed, hurt, helpless, sad, upset, disgusted... I have never cried so much in my life that I felt so drained.

But I have never felt this angry before. Intense, deep anger.

Ever.

And it scares me.

It scares me because I know Me. I can tell myself to not care. I can tell myself it's not worth it. I can remind myself that things used to be better.

And right now, I could care less. My child is the only thing that is worth it.

And yes... things used to be better than this.

Christmas is never going to be the same for me.
Christmas is always going to remind me of this.
.... I just want Christmas to not come at all.

I can't believe it! I rushed Hubs to get going, rushed Jake's bath.. just to make sure that Trista & Ryan had my full attention as they walk into married bliss! What happens? I fall asleep even before they exchange rings! GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! I woke up and it was done! The wedding. The show. It was done! I asked Hubs, "did they not have a reception?" Hubs looked at me like "DUDE! Where have you been?"

Ok first of all, her wedding makes me sick. For so many reasons.
Reason 1: All that Pink! I'll go mad crazy!!!
Reason 2: The $$$ diamond studded shoes!! When is she going to wear that again? If I had shoes that expensive at the wedding, trust me when I say that Hubs will make sure those shoes are permanently attached to my feet!
Reason 3: Two dresses? Need I say more? I spent BEACOUP BUCKS for my wedding dress, and even after the party ended, I didn't want to take it off because I wanted to make sure I used my money and I mean, used it!!! If their ceremony was anything like a Filipino Catholic ceremony, then it would have been worth it to wear one for the church and one for the reception. But their ceremony was as long as communion. WTF?
Reason 4: All that Pink!... Again!
Reason 5: All them roses! I bet you a number of brides out there are throwing a hissy fit, having to settle for some other kind of flower because Trista got all the roses from her to Timbuktu for her wedding!
Reason 6: Her wedding total was close to $4 Million. Hubs can't help but compute how many houses one can buy with her freakin' shoes alone!
Reason 7: All that damn pink!!!
Reason 8: Her hair! Come on.. you have Louis Licari coming in to do your hair.. and it was done in a way that it looks like I did it?
Reason 9: Stupid helicopters hovering around like how flies get attracted to sh*t!
Reason 10: All them commercial breaks! Let's get it on already.

I can't wait to start my Christmas shopping. I told Hubs my feet are itching to go!!!

The trip is getting closer and closer... and my weight keeps on piling up. Oh my goodness oh my goodness!

I was reading M's blog and saw pictures of old folks from HS. Oh my god they have "grown"... haha! I'm so mean! I'm not exactly 98 pounds anymore either!

I haven't started on my emails yet. Friend J said she's done with her emails - at 10:00 am. So I told her I haven't even started. I don't function well in the mornings. I'm just not a morning person. That's why I am perpetually late all the time... and no, it's not because I'm Filipino! My mind for some reason doesn't begin to function until after lunch. Speaking of lunch.... damn! What to eat!

OH... before I forget... my Jakey Wakey fell off the bed last night. We fell asleep cuddling and he squirmed his way out of my arms, and next thing I knew, I heard this loud THUMP, opened my eyes, reached out for him and he was screaming bloody hell on the floor! Hubs and I checked and rechecked to make sure there was no bleeding, no cracked head, no bruise, no broken anything. I felt (and still feel) hella guilty. But the weird thing was that there were pillows there to block his fall. He must've rolled over them pillows and next thing he realized, he was f-a-l-l-i-n-g!!! He cried, oh boy did he cry! Gave him a bottle to pacify and he was out. I told Hubs I want to velcro Jake next to me from now on!! My poor Jake.

This week just dragged..... grrr!!!

It's been a while since I blogged... I'm all blogged out... but then again, since it's been a while... I'm going to go bonkers with today's log:

First of all... it's Christmas. Well, technically 16 days before Christmas. I haven't even recovered from my TSD (Turkey Stress Disorder) and now it's Christmas right around the corner. Mind you, I LOVE Christmas... but it's the pre-Christmas madness that drives me NUTS! It's doesn't help either that Hubs and I are... um... 'financially challenged' right now that every penny (LITERALLY) counts nowadays. I hate being POOR! Dayem! It's like every money we have is already spent even before we get our paychecks. This trip is mentally (and financially) exhausting. I know I know, it's going to be worth it.. but do I have to go broke in the process? I must love my best friend so much to forego all of these sales!

So both sets of M&D's already have their trees and decorations up. Meanwhile, Hubs and I are debating on how big our tree will be, how to Jake-proof it... and how to dispose of it before we go on our trip. Happy Holidays to you too! We have a short (and I mean short!) list this year... but the kids.. you gotta give to the kids... because hell hath no fury than a kid with no Christmas gift I tell yah! Does a 27 year old count? I HAVE SO MANY WANTS it's unbelievable! Mom Dy finished her Christmas cards already... I don't even have a single one done! Hubs and I were forever discussing what to do for our cards.... would it be cheesy to hand it over to the Manila people? Grunt.....

So about best friend C's wedding: hmm.. who is her sponsor? Miss Sharon Cuneta! YEAH.. THE Sharon Cuneta. How the hell did she manage that? Don't ask me! Her wedding seems to be all blinged out... now I'm getting nervous about my MOH speech because The Megastar will be there... haha! Wait.. did I talk about this already? I'm losing my mind....

My house is so disorganized right now - and Hubs knows it's getting to my skin!! I get into this frenzy that when I want to clean, by golly get out of my way because I'm going to clean like you've never seen clean before!!!! It's hard with a 9mo old wanting your attention all the time. Thank God for Monday night wrestling. Last night was Hubs- Jakey night... Father Son bonding over The Rock. I got to organize my bathroom cabinet... which lead to adding more to my "To Buy" list. I have 10 billion shampoo.. and no conditioner. I keep telling myself I am going to buy conditioner to finish off the shampoo.. but I never do. So what am I doing now? Finishing up this 10gallon worth of shampoo and using a conditioner of a different brand. GASP!!!! Heaven forbid I do that... but I can't throw away my shampoo either!!! SO... to make the story short... I am absolutely loving my great hair day!!! TADAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It works!

My Christmas tags came - thanks friend D.

Ok.. and since I don't have a life.. I'm going to bore myself to death...it's about ME ME ME right now... until I get home and it's Jake & the Hubs :)...